James and I had planned it out. It's just that, well, I am plumb tired and in no rush to come home from a ten hour work day to prepare a place for my little one. I mean all she really needs is breastmilk and a bassinet. Mom-of-the-year award, here I come. But it was time to start nesting.
Nesting: preparing your nursery/home/life/mind for the arrival of the bun in the oven. ~Think a bird and twigs and you got the concept. (cute, sweet little concept) Really it's a euphemism for an activity that is completely overwhelming and challenging. Every conversation we have, every decision James and I make become less and less us-centered and more and more baby-centered. Don't get me wrong - it's wonderful and we love this time but the transition is gradual and sneaky...because everything transitions. Just like we when we first got married and grasped for straws trying to maintain a sense of self and personal past and future tradition it happens all over again but this time it's much more important. Its the stuff no one tells you. It's the part of the picture in the Mama Monthly Magazine that is cropped out. Simply moving furniture around is not just an exercise in efficient feng shui. It's really the talk of diminishing spaces, family visits, budgeting and changing dynamics. The bird and her twigs are cute but I am sure that Mama Tweet is freaking out a little making sure that those eggs are safe and sound.
I am proud to say that as of a month ago we started gathering twigs. I visited thrift stores, Walmart, JoAnn's and the like. I made a mental checklist of three sweet "wittle" projects that I wanted to start/finish over the weekend - wall art, a bookshelf turned armoire and re-purposing James' childhood dresser into a changing table. Check me out...
Pow!
Zazzle!!!
BOOM...This baby just got nested!
Are you happy now, mom?
The dresser took a long time and I discovered that I am not the sanding, painting, refinishing type. Sanders are heavy, BTW. But I was so very proud at the finished product. A lovely dresser that I am sure will eventually travel with my daughter off to college some day. A sweet hand-me-down from her selfless dada.
I sat on the kitchen floor with paint in my hair and on belly (of course), sweating, sore and uncomfortable and so anxious. I want little Madeline to enjoy this nest, every corner. I want her to love this dresser because I loved preparing it for her because she is my babygirl. I can't wait to see her eyes exploring her space and watch her tiny hands dirty up her nest. I sat back and rested and thought of nothing but her....and this verse
"By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work." Genesis 2:2
I never understood why a God who never tires would need rest but I imagine that maybe this was what it was like. A sweet rest of simple delight...I wonder. God didn't need a nap maybe he just wanted to stop, sit back and admire all that He made that was good and perfect and for us? Did He imagine our eyes discovering and our tiny hands exploring? I mean He loves us like a hen with her chicks. Was the Father nesting? Perhaps.
Baby Madeline your nest is coming together and I must say...it's so good. I hope you enjoy it. Until you get here I am just going to rest a little longer. I ain't the Lord. I need a long nap.