The Proper Balance of Estrogen and Testosterone

I talk to James about everything. If a thought crosses my mind chances are I am going to share it. I process my day with him via texts while I am at work. I call him during lunch for a mid-day vent. And when I get home I wait for my cue..."How was your day, baby?" And he always listens...reluctantly pausing a game of Candy Crush on his I-phone or putting his own conversations with best friends and family on hold.

It is no wonder that over the past few months he has been urging me to hang out with my friends. He reminds me that our home is open to them for as long as I need a good visit.

For the past 7 months after our wedding I went into hiding. I think that most people expect this from newlyweds so none of my friends pestered me when I didn't want to come out and play. They just figured that I was boo-ed up. And while I had somewhat convinced myself that all I needed was my hunnie, really I was mourning the shift my life social life had taken. My closest friends were salted everywhere from Texas to Timbuktu and James' crew is all within a 30 mile radius...Fair...Nope, just life. Pouting in isolation seemed like a reasonable response.

The month of May 2012 was the best month ever, graduation, new career, and a proposal. Then June dumped on me and the remainder my friends began to move away. Life took a break-neck turn.  I was not prepared, at all.  I had just endured one of the most intense seasons of spiritual growth and independence, trusting a special group of people with my fears, tears, mistakes and joys and next thing I know Waco seemed a little wack without my girls.

Who would paint their nails with me and Say Yes to the Dress?

Who would laugh at my inappropriate jokes and applaud my public body roll routines?

Who would call me out for having a stank attitude?...this is dangerous territory for James Hoskins and he is not even about to paint paint his nails. Our love has its limits.
However, James does love me enough to kick me out of the house for a playdate. He knows how much the women in my life mean to me. How much I NEED them. I think he has known it even more than me.

For the past year and a half I have refused to make any new friends. I just knew that I could will my old ones to return to this crazy town of Waco, TX....the NYC of the south as it is more widely known. And  for this introvert, making new friends is exhausting...but I don't have to-my old ones rock. The friendship train rolled into Waco 3 weeks ago by way of me actually rolling up my bottom lip and picking up the phone. I will be riding it at least until November. This is my thank you...

DibbyDum~thanks for sitting in my bubble with me as we "watched" our favorite Friday shows and laughed at how broke we are.
Niesha~thanks for being a safe place to share "marriage life" and for inviting me to watch my niece be blessed at church and Tracy thank you for soul-clapping to some good ole black gospel music with me.
Christina~Thank you embracing your inner public spectacle and helping me make the world feel awkward.
Morgan~Thank you for allowing me to be fully self-centered for the entire month of September AND giving me 3 cakes!!!
Melissa~You are just ridiculous and wonderful and we still make an awesome team.
Callie~I will always be your chaplain but I am so glad that we are friends and future sewing buddies!
Angie~Thank you for finding time on your way to work or during a lunch break just to chat with me for a few minutes at least once a week.
Christine~my Lil Bit thank you for guilt-tripping me whenever you are in town and just saying that you are coming over.
Monica~Thank you for your hilarious transparency and strength. You are a hero of mine.
Katelyn~Thank you for laughing at my conceited selfie texts annnnnd for having Kari and I over next month for ThanksWeen 2013...be excited. (oh and for my Foster parents).
Cara~Thank you for making a point to come see lil ole me on your way to see your family.

James~Thank you for all the ways you LOVE, ESTEEM and ACCEPT my friends whom I adore and miss dearly. Your love for them makes me feel loved because they are a reflection of who I am.

I am so grateful for these women and so many others who are with me in this amazing, different, challenging and so-fun season of life. Thank you for reminding me who I am, all the facets of me, as I explore who I am becoming as a wife and minister.

I think this SONG pretty much sums up how I feel about you all. It was the first song that popped in my head and I'm not ashamed at all. Don't judge me. I worked at BU for 3 years.