I'm Milk Chocolate

My two childhood best friends are bi-lingual Spanish and English. They took it all through high school and college. They both have taught it in school at one point or another. It's hard not to pick up a little Spanish if you live in Houston for any length of time. I've picked up enough to impress people who don't know any. My dad tells people I am fluent but the only sentence that flows, is..."Yo se muy pocito pero todavia estoy apprendiendo." This means, "I know a little but I am still learning." Yeah, I have been riding that lame train for a decade now. I really need to buy Rosetta Stone and soon. 

James is bilingual too. He is fluent in Country and Modern-Jive. The sing-songy 'tude in his voice and his impressions of my dad soon morphed into a language all his own. If you close your eyes and listen closely you might think I'm talking to my sister...because my husband talks like a black woman...yes, it is weird. It's weird because he isn't mocking me; (most times) his cadence and phraseology is on point and relevant. 

The other day James tells me about a conversation he and his co-workers were having about a young black woman. During this conversation James asked his white counterparts a very common and appropriate question concerning the exact shade of her blackness.

 "What kind of chocolate is she?...like candy"

Ha!

Sweet bi-lingual James...they don't understand you.

He continues...

"You know...Hershey's, caramel, special dark...?"

So here is a language lesson for all. We black folks refer to our own color and the colors of our brethren in colorful, confectionery ways. It's a Willy Wonka (I've got the golden ticket) type of nomenclature. Easy to remember, up-for-debate and sensible. 

Halle Berry and Beyonce: Caramel~prounounced "Care-uh-mel"

Phylicia Rashad and my hot mama: Cafe Mocha (it's a smoother milk chocolate)

Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond)  and Seal: Special Dark or just Dark Chocolate

Tisha Campbell-Martin and Sade: Bright or Light skinned...there is a distinction, however, that only a trained eye may notice

                                                     Jasmine Guy: definitely Light Skinned

                                                     

Cree Summer and Tamia: Red or Red Bone...these individuals will often have a natural reddish tint to their hair. 

And I, my friends, am Milk Chocolate.

Before we were together my baby was living in a black and white, rabbit-eared world and now the hubs is seeing it all live in HD technicolor, asking questions about candy and making eyebrows raise in confusion. I am so proud. This kid gets an  "A".