But my dad is black...

James *le sigh* is my husband of, wait for it, 2.5 months. I pretty much have this marriage thing in the bag and under control. Actually, that would probably make for a really boring existence at the ripe age of 31. James and I are figuring "it" out. This marriage thing is one thing but this mixed up thang is an entirely other. When my dear friend told me that she met my future husband and he was white I laughed in her face (over the phone). The mere notion of me, a strong, proud black woman marrying outside of my race was insulting and ridiculous. Here is the reason...I love my dad... Really. I think my dad is awesome. He is madly in love with mom. He is a proud Marine from the south side of Chi-town. He is a world-traveled, respected entrepreneur He is smart, driven, so kind. He is Cliff Huxtable incarnate (you catch my drift). To top it all off he is black, dark black, unmistakenly Afro-American. Sun-kissed and then some. To fantasize of someone as my husband whose hue left much to be imagined felt dishonoring, disrespectful and I wouldn't do it...that was until after I spent 5 minutes with James. I called my dad after our 2nd date...

"Heeeeeey Scoot!" (that's how he always answers the phone and then he starts singing, "Heeeey good lookin, whaaaaatcha got cookin?...")

"Dad, I met a guy. I like him a lot. I think that he is really special and he treats me like I hung the moon."

my father uttered the sweetest reply...

"Well, he should because you did."

I said, "One more thing; he's white."

"Heeeeey some of my favorite friends (really he said partners or pahdnahs (think old school jive) are white."

and that was that...

Race wasn't/isn't an issue except that it was and still is. James and I both forgot that we weren't the same but there is no such thing as color-blindness so as much as we forget we were reminded. We have learned to listen and learn and love the fact that we aren't color blind. This man, this wonderful man sees me in all of my brownness and he loves every bit of it. I have never felt more like myself because I have never had to be more authentically me before I decided to let James in and let him love me. 

My dad when he first saw me in my wedding dress...I told you, he's adorable.

I married this wonderful man, duh.