Pillow Talk

With one of my coiled up curls wrapped around his index finger, James looks at me and says,

 "Why in the world would you ever want to change this?" 

One of my favorite things about being married is the sweet intimacy of "pillow talk".  The hour just before bed is my favorite time. Our pillow chat topic de jour (that night) was my hair. My hair caused me so much anxiety leading up to our wedding day because it is such a integral part of my identity as a black woman. When we finally lived together, what would James think of me when I brush out my curls unleashing the fro-beast from its cage? Would he cringe at the smell of my flat iron or question my obsession with trying new products? I secretly love my curls but I never felt confidant enough to wear my hair curly until recently. I just thought others would think I look like the clown from "It". I don't rock fros. I am not particularly ethno-centric but I wanted/want to love the exact way God made me.

Ask James anything you can think about black hair/hair care and products and he knows what's up. He went through Chris Rock's School of "Good Hair" and keeps tabs on the latest products and techniques to keep my mane moisture-rich and manageable. He knows that I wear my hair natural but occasionally I like to flat-iron it. He knows that, in my vernacular, perms and relaxers both straighten hair. He fully comprehends the importance of using grapeseed oil rather than olive oil. Most importantly, he isn't confused or grossed out if I don't wash my hair everyday. He is a Hair-Extraordinaire, folks.The brother knows hair. Black hair. My hair. What I don't think he knows is just how much that means to me and just how greatly his interest in my personal pilus paradigm shift shapes my confidence. 

So he says, to me, "Why would you ever want to change this?"..."this" beautifully wild mane of free-flowing, unpredictable, superfluous spirals..."this" brown (and um, gray) mix of wavy wonder? And he means it...and he says it all the time because he really gets excited when my hair is natural...when I am just who I am...And I had no answer but I thought to myself, "I don't know why I ever did and I will never want to again".